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Forums :: Role Playing :: Bloodery Pubbery

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MintMan

Posts: 4037
Member #1

Jan 17, 2006 17:11
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  A long draught of mead silenced the freakish vagrant for a time less than he or any in his audience wanted. The emptied tankard came down hard onto the peanut- and bullet-shell littered bar as he then wiped his cold lips with the tattered sleeve of his blue jacket.
  
  "But, yeah, as I was sayin'," the Mint Man spake, "with that whole Board Writing thing made separate, this place has really died down recently." The frog took another quaff, disappointed to find that no spirit had already refilled it. "I mean, what can happen in this place that doesn't happen there? It isn't like this bar can host a Massive FtRPG Battle Royal 'til the Final, Ultimate, and Last Member is left standing or anything, 'specially since Ref is so inactive right now. I mean, there wouldn't even be bandwidth issues if such a thing were attempted. Yup... I sure bet that won't happen...."
  
  That's when he was hit over the back of the head.
MadGoblin

Posts: 1509
Member #2

Jan 17, 2006 18:46
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  * uses ManiacRage on MintMan with a BeerMug on the back of the head as he was pseudo-instructed to do *
  
  "Ya want a fight, blue man?" the green man challenged, "Den get ready fer one, 'cuz I'm sure a'that guy is dyin' fer one!" Pointing to someone else, confused and bewildered by the accusation, the lunatic goblin sped off with a repeating noise in his wake until his exit was haulted by a quick slip on a golden puddle stagnent on the floor.
  
  "Eeee," whimpered the maniac. "I sure hopes dat be booze." His head spun upon hearing his own words. "What am I sayin'? Dat best not be no booze! If 'twas, den dat means some suckah dropped the essense o' life to waste on da floor!" Outraged, he helped himself back up with the rotting carcass of the orphen he killed earlier and, again, singled out the individual from before, deciding them fit for the blame as any of his imagined enemies.
  
  "Ya!" he unclearly identified.
  
"You wouldn't want your pool to leak and get water in it, now would you?"
  "No. You could get wet."
  - Chavo and Eddie Guerrero
Sword
Zedd

Posts: 286
Member #76

Jan 18, 2006 6:43
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  "Sirrah, wherefore dost thou accuse me of such a heinous crime?" Asked an enormous man dressed as though he was something out of Macbeth or Hamlet, complete with a ridiculous tricorn hat with a large plume. Incidentally, this was the man the goblin had previously pointed out.
  
  "Ahhh... Naa, I meant dat one!" he said, pointing to another totally random bystander.
  
  "I beleive th'art mistaken, foul knave." the large man pointed out. "Thou didst most clearly point at me... Twice. Thus, prepare to engage." With that, the insaniac drew a falchion which looked huge even on him, which he brandished as though it were a much smaller foil.
  
  "Feel the point of my rapier, scoundrel!" he yelled as he drove his blade towards the insane ghobing's heart.
  
  * uses BalancedSteel on MadGoblin with a GreatFalchion with great vengeance *
  
  "Eeeeee!" screamed the mad goblin as he ran away...
  
  Straight into the chest of another innocent bystander.
  
Release that which was never caged.
Sword
MintMan

Posts: 4037
Member #1

Jan 18, 2006 10:58
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  The mean, green fiend slowly raised his cursed gaze to the object in his path. "Hey, weren't you the bloke that tried an' stole my puppies?" the man queried.
  
  "Um, no," the mad one replied, slurping down a fuzzy tail. "I'm da bloke dat knocked yer noggin'. Where'd 'xactly ya get a puppy from?"
  
  "Part of the litter I had," replied the blue clad vagrant. * brings forth a BasketOfPuppies * "Really don't want to explain that one any more than I have to." The large Shakespearean missed with a heavy hook as the Mint Man lept out of the range of the swing and clung to the ceiling.
  
  "Prophet! Thing of evil!" incorrectly stated the brute. "Remit my precious basket at once!"
  
  "Well, I guess it wasn't that difficult an explaination after all," the frog admitted. Suddenly, he realized that it was very much so physically impossible for him to cling to a ceiling as the radioactive spider bite had worn off long ago. His flippered feet (although covered in heavy boots, they were still flippered!) slipped from upside down floor, plummeting the vagrant into the big man. He tripped backwards and stumbled into another patron, who wanted nothing more than to be undisturbed.
Sword
boyachi

Posts: 1158
Member #92

Jan 19, 2006 23:58
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  "Did thoueth, not read? I wanted nothing more than to be undis-PUPPIES!" The for now nondescript being exclaimed through what has been determined as audible vocal means.* uses Adrenaline on BasketOfPuppies  *
  
  Regardless to the unspeakable things that he was doing beforehand, the still not very discript yet decidingly male form was tackled by hyper wittle doggie woggies, thus spoiling his plans of Ref domination by keeping to himself. "Wahahaha aren't you all so cute, even that ugly green-HEY ge'offme!" A slap in the nose removed the ghobling and detered him from any further puppy chow sessions, at least for a few seconds, while-
  
The New Dawn has risen. Are you the one to unlock it?
Sword
Zedd

Posts: 286
Member #76

Jan 20, 2006 4:06
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  The huge man walked towards him, still in the en garde pose with his falcion (still used like a rapier), exclaiming "I didst ask thee nicely, now I shall have to force thee to remit mine precious basket!"
  
  "Eh? I was just going to..." Began the frog-man.
  
  *finds that he cannot steal the basket due to it being created with a different tech*
  
  "Th'art a brigand and a coward! Thou shalt be punished for thy betrayal!" raved the Shakespearian, apparantly unaware of all that was going on around him...
  
The sword that kills is that which brings life.
Sword
MadGoblin

Posts: 1509
Member #2

Jan 20, 2006 14:22
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  "Pooortyyy!" shrieked the somewhat ignored goblinoid as he scampered up onto the bar's bar, which, ironically, was constructed of bars. Thinking that the bar was several times more unruly than it actually was, he attempted some crowd surfing which ended up more as a body slam onto the minty fresh amphibian.
  
  "Get off of me, you freak!" ordered the one mutant to the other, trying to roll the drunker figure from his back.
  
  "But ya smell so minty good," the goblin whined as he was batted up. Crashing against the counter, a bowl of peanuts was knocked into his lap. They were all emptied and spit out shells, but the fiend enjoyed them none the less.
  
  "Man, that's just not right," winced Boyachi. To put his nauseated mind at ease, he took action on the nearest berserked patron to him.
  
"Also, I can kill you with my brain."
  - River Tam, Firefly
MintMan

Posts: 4037
Member #1

Jan 20, 2006 15:02
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  * to protect his kin, uses LandSmite on boyachi with a vengeance! * "Back off from my puppies, yo," warned the frogged freak after pommeling the hapless andromorph with a volley of rocks.
  
  "Yer gonna pay fer dat floor!" shrieked the man who paid all of the pub's bills.
  
  "Gobbo?" questioned the minty man, who again had to lash out to defend his pups. "Stop trying to steal those!" he whined after striking the Zedd's hand. "They are living, breathing summonings, not candy to be -- hey! What did I just say?"
  
  "A'm sawwy," the dog-eater apologized.
  
  "Well, that's better, Zedd."
Sword
Zedd

Posts: 286
Member #76

Jan 25, 2006 21:51
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  "What dost thou mean, thine pups? I have no wish to consume the contents, I just wish for mine precious basket back! 'Tis the property of Zeddicus Yorrick!" Yelled the hat-wearing madman.
  
  "What the...?" The amphibious being begain, before once again having to defend his fluffy kin from the nondescript humanoid, who had recovered remarkably well from the volley of boulders that were just sent his way.
  
  "All'a dis over a basket of liddl' dogs!" The goblin rolled his bloodshot eyes.
  
Release that which was never caged.
Sword
Battalon127

Posts: 753
Member #25

Jan 26, 2006 11:47
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  "YOUR BASKET!?!?!?" boomed a voice from the doorway. Everyone in the pub, from frog-man to puppy, stopped what they were doing and stared. Darkening the doorway, was the towering figure of a man, far more horrific than the humble bar had seen in its day.
  "No, not him," the suddenly less booming voice whined, "behind him." Ducking past the gargantuan, a skinny, five foot tall, strangly reptillian something marched into the room. "That basket ain't yours, bub," the lizardy-thing accused Yorrick. "You stold it from me three weeks ago... and filled it with disgustingly cute puppies!"
  "I know not what you speaketh of," the Shakespearian Zeddicus replied. "For as sure as I stand, I hath never seen you before in my life."
  "Yeah, and you stole that accent from me too you cretin!" the scaley mutant complained, pronouncing it cray-tin. "Now I wants it back!!!" * throws a puppy at Zedd *
  "Now that just ain't right..." mutter Gobbo as he wiped puppy off his mouth.
  
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Sword
Rook

Posts: 497
Member #112

Feb 18, 2006 20:42
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  Then, the previously unnoticed giant standing in the doorway stepped forward. As it stepped into the light, the silhouette cloaking its features vanished. It slammed the door behind it, splintering it into many pieces. There stood a great, winged, stone golem. "You! Stop talking strange! Big words confuse ROOK!!!!" he roared. he swung his great fist in Zeddicus's direction. * uses StoneFist on Zedd * Zeddicus flew clear across the room, crashing into the wall, nearly demolishing it, and crumpled to the floor. "Anyone else use big words??" he said with a gratey voice that sounded like rocks being rubbed together.
  
"What the f*** ya'll lookin' at?"
  Ed III, The Boondocks
Sword
MadGoblin

Posts: 1509
Member #2

Feb 19, 2006 14:55
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  "I use words not big," yelped the green skin, cowering from the brick built behemoth beneath his hiding place, the emptied bowl of emptied peanuts. The reason for his fear was shortly forgotten, as it was out of his view from the new head gear, and his fascination turned entirely to the his styling, new hat. "Oo, domey."
  
  "What by the the half-dead goddess is your problem now?" sputtered out the increasingly confused frog man. "Or, at least, the most pressing of your current problems? Aren't you suppose to be evil or something?"
  
  "Hey, ya know how I am," corrected the goblin.
  
  "Actually, I don't think any of us have any clue what-"
  
  "Shut it," the fiend cut into the andromorph's logical statement. "I'm a fool first, then an evil bastard, and some type of lamp third."
  
  "Some type?" struggled to grasp the Shakespearean while also struggling to get up, but the reptile decided to put the declaration to the test rather than ponder the statement and yanked the lunatic's tale.
  
  KA-BOOOOOM!!! Everybody deeead!
  
  The patrons looked betwixt one another, now surrounded by fluffy clouds and a blinding, divine light, quite puzzled by what had just happened.
  
  "Oh, the knave be a lamp/fog-machine! That doth be his earlier intention," finally grasped Yorrick. * Demonstrating his most useless talent further, uses FluffyCloud to produce more of the delightful wisps *
  
  "Words still big!" roared the avian battlement, pushed over the edge to another rampage.
  
"If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying."
  - Los Guerreros
Sword
Nitron

Posts: 16
Member #267

Jun 25, 2006 19:55
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  "Ah don' lak lit'" buzzed a ninja apple sitting on a stool drinking some ale. It got up and floated towards the greenskin. "Ah belong to de darkn'ss." He threw his tankard at the greenskin.
  
  "Um, no" replied the goblin wiping its face. "You need light. Y'know, photosynthesis?"
  
  "FOOL!" boomed the fruit."We need photosynthesis not! I shalt prove you!"
  
  * plants a virtual ninjaapples tree *
Sword
MintMan

Posts: 4037
Member #1

Aug 9, 2007 8:37
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  "Oh, I get it now," realized the frogtastic vagrant.
  
  "But how?" questioned a nearby rumbling competitor, but by no means a Rumbler. What's a Rumbler? I've never heard of that. You can't sue me, site that hosts both intellectual properties!
  
  "Uh, but how?" continued the lizard-like after that brief interruption. "We've all been standing around for a year; no one even remembers what was goin' on!"
  
  "Very true, loser-that-no-one-cares-about!" The scaley sucker lowered its head in shame and truth. "However, there is no reason for us to fight," rationalized the Rex Ranarum. "If we all come together and put our minds to it, we can kill that guy!"
  
  "Huh?" the apple at the end of the flippered finger sputtered. All his confusion could not convince them otherwise; he was universally the worst character here.
  His fate was sealed.
  
  * creates a MightyGungnir to smite all nonhumanoid character * "REers! Tonight, we dine in Hell... because they have an early bird special! So let's finish this quickly, right-right?"
Sword
draggy1234

Posts: 485
Member #97

Aug 9, 2007 21:37
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  "Hold on!!!"
  
  All present turned disdainfully to look at the kid who had just dashed into the tavern through where the door used to be.
  
  "You'd think that with endless days of running to classes on time, I'd know the concept of being punctual to events like these when they first start," the newcomer ranted.
  
  "And thou art?" queried the Shakespearian.
  
  "Don't you remember me? Hadoleo the student? From, like, a long time ago in a certain story that I marginally participated in?"
  
  "No," was the unanimous reply.
  
  "Besides," the vagrant added on, "you're not a student. You're a bard."
  
  "Oh?" the flustered kid realized. "Um...well..."
  
  * class changes to Scribe *
  
  "There! Close enough!" the bard-turned-scribe declared. "At least I'm not the suckiest character around..."
Sword
Zedd

Posts: 286
Member #76

Aug 10, 2007 9:07
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  "You aren't?" the vagrant questioned cruelly, then remembering the ninja apple, merely nodded, quite sadly, to himself.
  
  "That's right." The scribely scholar stated.
  
  "Quick... Over there!" The apple tried to divert attention from it, but the various weapons hemming it in remained, as if for some reason, after turning away from the studant, its captors had entirely ignored this new 'threat' to their backs.
  
  Yorrick, who had been standing unmoving but for his interjection at the child, suddenly moved as though he'd never really been a statue for a year or so, only just realising where the vagrant frog intended to eat.
  
  * uses CatStance with great horror *
  
  "The Hades Diner? But I do recall that place giving me the pox last was I there! 'Tis a place of EVIL! And badly-cooked tacos..."
  
To sit on the fence is a dangerous call, but someone's gotta do it.
  
  [Edited by Zedd on Aug 10, 2007 9:08]
Sword
MintMan

Posts: 4037
Member #1

Aug 10, 2007 9:47
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  "Way to get references, jerk!" scoffed the toad. "I mean, you should get a 300 crack; Shakespeare wrote it, after all."
  
  "No he didn't, you knave!" returned the noble after no contemplation. "Frank Miller did."
  
  "I was in RoR although this was specifically address as being a different continuity!"
  
  "Hmm, that is a good reason to kill him instead," the tadpole tyrant took to mind. * with a hasty whirl, uses Toss on draggy1234 with a MightyGungnir to pierce his nerdy hide *
  
  "Yay! I get to live!" cheered the nitro ninja, but then a bystander reminded him that since he was a friggin' apple, that was a fate worse than death. Seppeku-pie, anybody?
  
"And when I wake up in the morning
  "To feel the daybreak on my face,
  "There's a blood that's flowin' through the ceiling
  "With a knife to open up the sky's vein." ~ Backwater, Meat Puppets

Sword
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