"Yo, Tanner, you want to hurry up with that? It isn't expensive enough to take all freakin day!" A dusty man called to the other side of the cavern. He was a taller, thick man, surveying the area for threats atop a large boulder formation.
"Din bother me now, Vin!" A voice projected from a figure suspended above a chasm across from Vincent. A gaunt older looking frame swung, anchored by a hand gripping a large ornate ruby set in a gold circle over the abyss.
"It mebbe not inchented by anyting, but it be a good find, end it'll get us some much needed money." He spoke in a strage mix of accents, ending up sounding like a Scottish Cajun. Chiseling lightly around the gem, he removed it from its frame. "See man, not every legind bout sent'nels and gua'dians is true."
"Yeah, you said that about the serpents of Vantana, and you're lucky to have what you do left of your middle finger."
Tanner gestured with the aforementioned finger, and begun to swing back to the ground when the chamber began to quake.
"Dammit man, yous always right aint you?" Tanner secured his line again, as both stood alert. Without warning the boulders beneath Vincent stood erect, bringing him within a few feet of the ceiling. Tanner stood awestruck before the visage of one of the Talima sentinels, but was only frozen for a moment. As it lunged for him, Tanner pulled a massive machine off his back that looked more suited for demolition than combat. Pulling the trigger quickly, he sent it reeling back with several concussive bolts, Vincent still on the head.
"S*** man, lemme Down before you try that again!" Vince bounded off, throwing his hands into his pockets. As he rolled upon landing, two flashbangs were hurled into the granite behemoths view. It stumbled around, blinded. and through the clearing smoke Vince flew wielding a massive hammer. The monster was brutally impacted, but reacted by seizing Vince by the ankle and launching him into a distant corner. Landing with a thud, he called out.
"Any time now TANNER!" he struggled to yell.
"Way ahead of ya." Out of a large pocket he pulled several red bolts for the strange weapon. "See yous ugly!"
The giant turned, only to be met with a massive explosive round to the face. Flying back, it regained its balance before falling into another endless pit. It charged once more, but was decimated by the next round. Crumbling into the abyss, it groaned loudly, and was lost to the darkness.
"Wel..." But once again the two were interrupted by a rumbling, this time from the cavern itself.
"Just another job Tan? This is getting old!" With that they both dived aside of a falling rock, and sprinted out. Upon exiting the crevice, each was blinded with sunlight. Silently they returned to a large treaded vehicle parked nearby.
"I can't believe you dropped it..." Vincent muttered as they cruised back into sight of Genesis City.
OOC(out of context): Made for another forum too, hoorah for reusing characters! Tell me this one is good.... I like it, but I think it has problems....
Feb 17, 2005 18:15
"Drop it, schmoppit," Tanner dismissed, a phrase he uttered several times on the trip back to their head quarters. Every three minutes, to be precise, like clockwork. "I dinna see ya blowin' up those deals with yer stuff, the'e," the maniac reminded as he pulled open the large door to their head quarters. "That was m' ammo, ya know, comin' from m' salary an' expenses."
"Please, don't pull that crap with me," Vince scoffed. "If anything, you owe me for getting to blow the hell out of stuff." Tanner cursed his happy trigger fingers, knowing his colleague to be correct. "And, just to show there's no hard feelings about botching the job," Vince added while climbing back into the vehicle, "I won't take that ammunition out of your personal funds."
"Really? Yer too kind, bu-"
"But I am docking the lost payment of that mission from it," he tagged on before closing the door.
"-tt munch," Tanner finished. Clearing out of the way, Vincent pulled their mobile fortress into the warehouse that served as their stationary base of operation. "Well, let's hope some schmuck has another job fer us."
"I'd be hoping that you don't screw this one up," Vincent boomed over the vehicle's megaphone.
"Now, how'd he hear that?" Trotting past stacks of boxes that spilled over with ammo and other assorted weapons or explosives, he finally found his way to an old fashioned corded phone with a light blinking red. "Score!" Tanner proclaimed in triumph, selecting the button.
"Good evening, gentlemen," a gargled voice greeted from the machine. "I am need of an acquisition, if you will, that will require the best of talents. Sadly, I am only able to afford you two." Tanner piped out some annoyed laughter as testament that he was not amused by the caller's comment.
"I don't think he could hear you," Vince shouted from clear across the depot, "it being previously recorded and all."
"Oh, but I can," a voice called out."
"Hah! An' ya said they cunna hear meh," boasted Tanner with a defiant finger pointing. "Wait, how did they hear meh?" he finally questioned the impossibility of the event. "Oh, no! I told ya 'twas haunted, Vinny!"
"No, I'm over here, you idiot," the voice responded. "You fools left your gate open."
"Please excuse my associate," Vince kindly begged, already in meeting with the potential customer. "He may be a little rough around the edges and brash, but he really is handy when it comes to- ... um, well, ..."
"Shaddup!" shouted the lean man, bounding his way to the entrance atop the many crates marked "Highly Explosive" and "Don't Jump On, Tanner". About ready to give the new client a piece of his mind at the sacrifice of the much needed employment, his tongue tangled on his hateful words.
"What's his problem?" she asked, eyeing Tanner curiously.
"Many things, ma'am," Vince answered her. "Many things."
"See you in hell, candy boys!"
- Homer, The Simpsons
Feb 24, 2005 19:09
Still eyeing Tanner, the client said, “I hope his behavior doesn’t cause you to mess up my offer.” She started to turn thoughtful. “Perhaps I should’ve—“
“Wait, ma’am.” Vince quickly interjected from the fear of losing her offer. “He’s actually very good, although he doesn’t look like it from first glance.”
Tanner wanted to retaliate, but Vincent’s harsh sideways stare kept him quiet.
“…Very well, I’ll give you two a chance,” the client finally decided.
(Yes!) Vincent thought. Out loud he asked, “What do you need us to get?”
“It is a very rare artifact, sealed away,” the client said. “I’ll tell you more about it later.”
“Wait, then how do we know what ya want?” Tanner asked.
The client merely gave Vincent a cell phone and started to walk away, saying, “I’ll provide you with the necessary information through that. Expect a call in an hour. Meanwhile, get yourselves ready, boys.”
Before she got out of earshot, the client turned around and said, “One more thing. You two mess this up, and you’ll pay.”
Then she disappeared into the distance before the duo could ask what she meant.
Jun 21, 2005 11:27
"Well, this sure is a larf," Tanner spat. "We get a job from some'un known to be skimpy on cash that we dun even know what it is or what we even will need ta do it!" Vincent raised a concerned brow.
"You can drop the act," he ordered. "We all know you don't care one thing about any of that stuff." The larger man let out a sigh. "Go ahead, say it. I don't care, either."
"... She's hot," he confessed, "really hot."
"There, do you feel better now?" his colleague asked.
"Yeah, a bit," admitted the slim man. "Not as good as I would if I got to-"
"Okay, now you gotta stop," interrupted Vince, growing in his queasiness. "We gotta prepare."
"But, we dun even know what we'll be up against," restated mad man. "What do we take?" His partner smiled. "Ooo, you mean-"
"Da big guns!" the two shouted in unison and glee. With bounding leaps, Tanner quickly arrived at a large, iron vault buried beneath boxes. Carelessly dumping the "DANGER" marked containers from the door, since they really just contained a large supply of instant soup, he speedily entered the combination. A great suction filled the vacuum in the vault as Tanner gladly breathed in the pleasant air of the arsenal. It made his other gun look like a squirt gun. In fact, it could probably use it as ammo. Lifting up the massive cannon onto his back, he failed.
"Oh, crap, right," cursed maniac. "I was suppose to be workin' out so that I could even lift this thin'." Rolling it aside, he knew that he could at least procure two other objects of interest from the storage. One was a pair of guns for Vince: Fire and Brimstone. Each was barely larger than a hand and looked more like a slightly bent piece of metal than a weapon. However, each was capable of emitting a highly concentrated beam of energy that could melt through five feet of concrete in a second. Fire possessed a longer lasting, shorter beam for utility purposes, such as cutting, while Brimstone was designed for longer ranged, rapid fire kills, although either could be used for such. The second was single piece of ammo for his strange gun: The Silver Bullet. The sole shot packed the power of an entire megaton. He had taken it on only five missions before but never used it. To maximize its accessibility, he placed it on a chain to we worn around his neck. There was no danger in it detonating as it would take the impact only his gun could offer to trigger a reaction. Looping it around his neck, he departed the tightly sealed box to rediscover his partner.
"Okay, I'ma done packin', and- Hey! What's all this, now?" He spotted Vince standing next to their mobile fortress loading in stacks and stacks of various provisions, ranging from food to medical supplies.
"What?" he innocently questioned. "You didn't want to do this boring stuff, anyway. Besides, you would have just packed liquor instead of gauze."
"Ya found my secret hidin' place?" Ignoring his statement, Vince used what time remained to outfit the vehicle with his partner's mechanical expertise, an ability he only possess from years of making weapons and then bigger weapons. The armor was patched, the engine roared like a hellion, and the new "Road Killer" bumper was installed, capable of shifting from a dozer to a plow to insure nothing got in their way. As Tanner did some final tinkering on the newly integrated system, the phone began to ring.
"'ello?" Tanner answered. "... 'ello? What's the friggin' deal? Hey, Vince, our phone's broken! It's not pickin' up." Vincent reminded himself that, if anything, he could be a human shield as he answered the cell phone the client had given them.
"Treasure Hunters Inc., Vince speaking."
"He consumed books like some of us consume twinkies."
- Words on Pope John Paul II, 1920 - 2005