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Forums :: Reality's End Classic :: A Need to Occupy My Feeble Little Mind...

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LieutenantEagle

Posts: 953
Member #27

Aug 22, 2003 18:15
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  Not particularly related to your feeble little mind, but it has been proven that the universe is round, y'know?
  
  No, I'm not joking. I'm serious. When you form a triangle between Earth, the Sun, and a third star, the sum of the triangle's angle measures is greater than 180 degrees. This, in turn, means that the universe is in no way a flat infinite surface (much like the Earth was originally hypothesized to be flat), but rather a spherical shape. Wait a second, doesn't that make our universe finite?
  
  Also, there has been a debate going on about the centrifugal force in the universe. Anyone know anything about it?...I haven't read my Scientific American / Discovery magazines in a long while now. Too busy reading MaximumPC or Nintendo Power, or playing either Wind Waker or Mario Party 4.
  

  LieutenantEagle
  "If history is to change, let it change! If the world is to be destroyed, so be it! If I am to be destroyed...I am simply to laugh! I'm coming, Lavos!"
  ~Magus, ending #8 of Chrono Trigger
boyachi

Posts: 1161
Member #92

Aug 23, 2003 16:16
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  "By my crimson obsession, what are you talking about now Gobbo?"
  "My heart burn,"whined the ghobling " which reminds me, If this is twenty years back, I shouldn't have heartburn and further more, this forum wouldn't exist thus making it impossible for any of blah blah blah ..." C'Moddd had stopped listening three seconds after into the lecture as he realized his eyebrows had grown back. For about another hour, C'Modd jumped up and down screaming his happiness as Gobbo droned on and on. and on. and on...and on.
  After three more hours had past by in a similar action, the marauder clutched his sprained ankle as the ghobling sipped hot tea, trying to regain his lost voice. The awesome knight and the C.A.M.O. joined him for the same reason. "Hey guy's... since we're all sitting here and I'm going to cast some magic for my ankle, should I summon a videogame? Which do guys want, X-box or Game Cube." asked C'Moddd, who chuckled as the other three inaudibly rasped there reply over and over again. "You don't care? Then i'll get myself a handheld." The tea sippers wheezed pleaingly in vain as the marauder healed himself and summoned a small game of Puck man. Attracted to the handheld's crappy music from deep in the forest, burst out-
Soon, the time will come. The Summer of the Dawn.
LieutenantEagle

Posts: 953
Member #27

Aug 25, 2003 17:46
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  "...Goodness!" exclaimed Gobbo. "Over here!"
  
  "Now what?"
  
  MadGoblin points to an insignia on a wall. It is an image of a shuriken within an..onion ring?
  
  ..."What in blazes is this supposed to mean?" MadGoblin inquires.
  
  "That should be pretty obvious," says a cold voice behind him.
  
  "M-Mace Windu? What, by the name of Reality's End are you doing here?"
  
  "I? Oh, to your small-Mindforced heads, I'm just running an errand for Queen Zeal-"
  
  "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, WINDU! Baruk khazad, khazad ai-menu!" An adept axe-hew cleft Mace Windu to the ground.
  
  "Thank you, Gimli, you may leave," says LieutenantEagle. "For your references, that is the insignia of the Onion Time-Warp."
  
  "The - what?" MadGoblin asks.
  
  "Ah - right. A certain prophecy states that 'he who consumes a Summon-Shuriken alongside an Onion Ring of Time shall obtain the force to traverse the space-time continuum at will'. You are the first mortal who has satisfied this requirement."
  
  "But how -"
  
  "Think Quidditch and don't ask. Hmm...MadGoblin, I must tell you that your party is unfortunately under-equipped. You are the only one who has any chances of despatching foes."
  
  "Why me?"
  
  "Well, it's quite tough to explain. Here, this should aid you in your quest."
  
  Hands over 20 Onion Rings
  
  "When you consume an Onion Ring, you will enter the Bullet Time environment. You will be a human Kamaitachi until the effects expire. For your friends, the Onion Ring will do nothing more than replenish Health Points."
  
  "Umm, Lieutenant?" asks boyachi. "How did Gimli get here?"
  
  "I used a complex Summon-spell. Yeah, I'm sorry but you can't get it.
  
  "WHY?" MG asks.
  
  "It's one of those things granted only to the Retainers of Light. If I were you, and were serious about gathering offensive Summon-spells, here."
  
  Hands over four Spamslash Edges
  
  "Use these for a while, and you'll learn the First Four of Offensive Summons."
  
  "Which are?" Gobbo inquired.
  
  "Summon Sword, Summon Spear, Summon Arrow, and Summon Staff."
  
  To be...continued?
LieutenantEagle

  President of the SMFC
  Super Mario Fan Club
  -------------------------
  Did you know that if you put all the economics teachers in the world you would still not come to a definite conclusion?
VinnyD

Posts: 443
Member #9

Aug 25, 2003 23:30
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  "Wow whis is ummm really complicated now!" The awesome knight vincent said "I mean the fact I'm an awesome knight of funk and other things pretty much is underscored by the fact that I have awesome skill and awesome equipment, but you know."
  "Yes I too would like to know why it has become so complicated in lietenanteagles posts, despite his refusal of answering plotholes"
  "Haha" Lietenent Eagle (or what ever persona represents him) said "You see-.................
Teamsters, so lazy and surly..
  Homer
  
  Check it, and give me tips too cause i suck
  http://angelfire.com/gundam/vinnyd/index.html
boyachi

Posts: 1161
Member #92

Aug 31, 2003 21:05
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  "I am secretly planning to record this very adventure and making it into an RPG rivaling that of that of Grundun's Incitement 18!!! Then Squaresoft! And then, I will go to the bathroom!"
  "What about disney?" chirped C.A.M.O
  "Why not go to the bathroom before this happens...supposedly."inquired C'moddd.
  "What makes the spear so offensive? It looks clean to me, kinda smells like mana, but other than that, it looks really clean and wholesome."asked Gobbo, who then bites the spear. "Hey, it tastes like an onion ring!"
  Out of the blue, the cool night vincent turns into a galian beast and starts going after everyone. "Gah! he's been possessed by squares!!!" the vicious beast grabs Eagle and throws him up into a tree, where he hangs by his underpants. Shortly after, the fiend collapses and turns back into vincent, who is out cold. Furious, Eagle transports away. The remaining three turn to watch vincent...
Soon, the time will come. The Summer of the Dawn.
VinnyD

Posts: 443
Member #9

Aug 31, 2003 22:07
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  "hmmmm, is he dead?" Gobbo says, then pokes him in the eye with a stick
  "OW what the hell was that for you idiot!" Vince yells somewhat beastially. "hey what happened...? Whered the guy who talks funny and about summon stuff and leaves plotholes wherever he lurks even though earlier he was trying to convey a more sophisticated rpg style story...?"
  Gobbo then asked "what???"
  "oh, I just said what happened, nothing else...." Vince responded, suspiciosly
  "You turned into a galian beast, Whatever that is" the cmmodd said
  "I think it's a...." Vince was interuppted
  "I said whatever that is!!!....." He yelld back
  "Hmmm must have been because gobbo bit that spear" Lietenant Eagle said
  "Hey I thought you teleported....." Vince the knight of funk and other stuff like that responded"
  "Yes well... hey I thought you were out cold." Lietenant Eagle garflopped
  "Yeah, knocked out, thats it, and what the hell is a garflop!!???"
  "I think the reason that caused you to morph into a thingy is because it caused a.............
Teamsters, so lazy and surly..
  Homer
  
  Check it, and give me tips too cause i suck
  http://angelfire.com/gundam/vinnyd/index.html
MadGoblin

Posts: 1515
Member #2

Sep 9, 2003 22:00
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  "... caused by a terrible plot device."
  
  "Isn't all of this caused by that, tho'?" Everyone simutaneously nodded in response, even the enquirer.
  
  "Wow, when did the popular/fake newspaper reporters get here?" enthusiastically asked Gobbo. "I loved your article on bat boy fighting Sadam. He brought up my moral. Oo, oo! How's that two-tongue couple doing? And is Justin really having Kelly's baby?"
  
  "Don't you mean-"
  
  "No, I don't," the goblin interrupted.
  
  "Ew..."
  
  "Nya, ya see, kid," the reported said, speaking as a gangsta for some reason that will be kept unknown, "we got wind from the good bird that one o' dem black holes were a'brewin', an' we wanted in on the ground floor. ... Nya."
  
  "No, sorry, dudes. No black holes here," the mammoth changling beasted roared with much, er, galiality? ... something like that, anyways. "Though we do have a lot of plot holes and a lot of sucking going down. A wholes lot."
  
  "Oh, impropa english? He mustas means it bad," noted the reporter. "Well, then, fellows, if there ain't one o' those crazy contraptions in the make n'ya, then what monocer ya dub that?" He pointed to a swirling, massive, hideously huge vortex of whirling doom that sucked in all light within the immediate vincinity.
  
  "I said, we had a lot of suck 'n holes."
  
  "Huh-huh," Gobbo grinned. "Suckin' holes."
  
  "Oh, well, in that case, my combly popinjays, I'll just be goiIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Pulled mid-sentance, the reporter was abducted by the gaping hole and hurtled into another dimension! ... or endlessly painful death, what do I care?
  
  "Oh no!" Gasped Gobbo"I wanted to ride first."
  
  "Can you guys stay focused on the task at hand?" groaned Vincent.
  
  "We have a tasked?" said a character (it doesn't really matter, they're all think' it).
  
  "Yes!" he scolded. "... didn't we? I could swear it involved this stick of asparagus somehow," he said, producing the produce from his product, I mean, pocket.
  
  "Well, it does now!" declared C'modd, triumphantly snatching the vegetable and running off.
  
  "Hey, I just thought of something," Gobbo felt the urge to say. "When you say the word C'modd, it sounds like commode, and those are toilets, and toilets are where you poo! Heh heh heh..."
  
  "Is he... always... like that?" asked Eagle, who either, came back, was resurrected, or never left. I lost track."
  
  "Uh-huh," painfully moaned Vince.
  
  "Dang it!" Eagle cursed. "Why did he have to be the One?"
  
  "The One?" the funk lord complained. "That is so lame!"
  
  "Well, you didn't let me finish," Eagle lied. "He's the One... half!"
  
  "One-half?" he repeated in disbelieve. "What, is that suppose to make me think that is sucks any less?"
  
  "Well... yeah, I guess not. I'm sorry," Lt. E. apologized.
  
  At this time, C'modd mousely stepped back. "Er, what was s'pose to be done with this thing again?"
  
  "Exactly," pointed out the militant Eagle. "You can use it in... something with spells... I can't remember, I confused myself!"
  
  "Hey, here's an idea!" Gobbo, breaking his minute of silence stated. "I'm outta here!" Nonchalantly, the fiend trekked off saying, "I don't think much of anything can save this now." He added, "Nothing, that is, short of some sorta miracle..." They all sat in silence... on comfy bar stools! ... no, wait. That's bear stools. Ew.
  
  "So," wandered Vincent's mind, "do you know any crippled children? Miracles always seem to follow them. Why, every Christmas there seems to be some lucky bloke named Timmy who gets himself a merry o' season. Freakin' jerk..." In quandry, he looked about. "D'ya guys here that?"
  
  "Hear wha-" Like a rising screech from high in the sky, a colorless streak crashed into Grudun's Incitement 18 ("I have known so much suck!"). From out of the massive crater, a hideously deformed clutch raked the earth, pulling the hidden creature into view.
  
  "Egad! It's terrible!" gasped Eagle.
  
  "Truly disgusting!" vomitted Vincent.
  
  "I want my mommy!" whined C'modd. "... and some tuna"
  
  Brushing the long, black hairs from its bespeckled face, it sniffed the air intently.
  
  "Ew, smells like suck! ... and hotdogs," noted the amazing Jack Edward Daws, aka: Jackdaw. "What? What are you freaks staring at? Act like you've never seen a miracle before... or hideous disaster... But that's what makes this country great: they're both the same!"
  
  "Er, actually..."
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  fart!
  "Huh-huh! Grudumb's Incitement 18 cracked one!" Jackdaw cackled.
  
  "Can't you let me finish?"
  
  Jack leaned over and whispered to one of them, "Geez, what's in that guys butt? Gay? Nya-ha-ha!"
  
  "Um, I'm the guy who told you to shut it."
  
  "Oh, right... Er, carry on."
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