Anyone see it? You are prolly lucky if you did not.
Okay, the CG Hulk looked perfect; I do not understand why everyone is knocking it. It could not possibly be cooler. 'Tis like they ripped it straight from the comics! Were people disappointed that he did not have a more human shape? C'mon, people! That is what someone would look like if they were that buff! They would be w i d e.
Everything else about the movie sucked hard. If you plan on seeing it and you have not heard what it is basicly about yet, leave or prepare yourself, because spoilers are ahead.
Okay, Banner does not get his powers from Gamma radiation in this movie. Rather, they used a crap-tastic combination of his father performing experiments on himself and passing it to his son and from.... nano-bots. What the...?
The suckage continues, however! The enemy is... *shock* Banner's non-abusive father! The most he ever did to Bruce as a kid was try to kill him, and that was just once. Where's his pent up rage at?
Anywho, the father uses the Hulk-technology to make... Hulk dogs a la Resident Evil.... one of which was a French poodle.... *cough* This idea was so bad that they even made fun of it inside the movie.
Okay, then, when Bruce's evil (?) pa used the same incorrect procedure to get the Hulk powers (which involved Gamma rays to activate nano-bots.... and not being in a desert.... and not saving Rick Jones -- saving somebody, but not him.... they could not even call him Rick -- no! Call him something entirely different!), he instead gets.... Absorbing Man-esque powers! Why? Did James Cameron write this thing? He can become any material he touches (even electricity for some stupid reason), and also phase into it, making it a part of himself... uhhh....
However, when Hulk is fighting the army, the movie rocks. In fact, any part with the Hulk and without Gamma dogs or dad is pretty cool. Unfortunately, you have to wait an entire hour and twenty minutes to get to those parts.
Speaking of the Hulk, guess who cannot talk? The Hulk! Not once did he say "Hulk smash!" In fact, "smash" was not said during the entire movie! Blarg!
Then, Ang Lee, the director, sucks hard. So many times he utilized the worthlessness of panel shots. Sure, he would show eight things going on at once, but the amazing part was how all of it was absolutely nothing. Then, he tried making meaningful shots of moss and rocks. No one cares. It's moss.
Even though this movie sucked, my brothers and I agree that a sequel would have the potential to be the best super hero movie since the craze started back with X-Men. All they would need to do is not make mention of his origin once, and it would be perfect.
So if you want to see it, I recommend the cheapest showing around, and even then, the only point would be to see the Hulk not say "smash" but in fact do so on the big screen.
Jun 23, 2003 18:21
hmm, I think I'm going to see it...as long as I'm not paying!
Jun 24, 2003 11:04
Man, I'll be seeing it, Eric Banna is like one of the funiest bloody comedians, and great actor too, you beggas arnt lucky enough to have seen fast forward and Full Frontal, the best skit shows (even better then MP) and I think it was Fast Forward that had Mr Banna, F***, funniest man alive in that. and the movie Chopper is bloody good to. Frenzal Rhomb - The greatest band ever THE SHINY THINGS - My webby, come join the forum, its not incredibly absene or nothing, no way!
Jun 29, 2003 1:42
Ok sure, Hulk was no way as good as Spider-Man was
but you got to look at how they tried to appeal to
They wanted to do a very smart and thinking story, one that can hit home with people distant from there fathers or something..
and they only showed fragments of the past, they did also show his father expermenting on him.. so there could have been more physical testes that were still supressed in his memory
though i figured at first he was gonna become the abomanation with the way his hand looked afterward but then it changed so yeah... and the absorbing man from the comics could have done the stuff with the electricy, i remember that Thor had a cartoon back in the day, and ive seen the epp with the absorbing man, when they fought he had touched Mjolner and had become on par with thor, then durring the fight thor like attacked the air arround him to make him absorb helium... so i can see why absorbing water and energy would work...
Personaly i liked the movie, i thought the plot was rich and and done in the fassion with how hulk has delt with issues that they coverd and such...
That movie sucked and forever shall be known for it's suckage. The hulk animation was great I agree, but the story was so horrible, hell I made a more inspiring one in like fifth grade about some alien crystal castle with futuristic something or other. And It had death and gore, and I got a B! that bastard teacher will rot for it too lol. I mean death and gore!!!.....ehm that has nothing relevant,,, so I will rant more, but I'm tired so no. Some of it was kind of overdone, like when he is floating in air during one of his jumps. But the last scene was confusoing and gay. and I'm done
Jul 10, 2003 6:12
Agreed. That last entire scene was 00ber gay. However, all that jumping, Hulk really does that. I could hear a lot of people whispering "whoa, look at that! he can do that?" And, well, he does in the comic all the time. Geez man, if I recall correctly, he bounds over whole states. I mean, it's the freakin' Hulk!
And now a terrible reinactment:
"Daddie, my movie sucks! Waaah!"
"Shut up. Shut it up... you. Now, I shall bite this cable. Before this blow-fest ends, I shall make it suck nine times more!"
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9
"... This is the worst movie ever. Look, panel shots!"
"Geez, they never seem to end. Why do we need fifty different views on some rock with moss? Hey, some bad CG 'Elemental Wrath' dad."
"But... you're suppose to be dead!"
"Hello, I'm Ang Lee, the biggest hack in the world. However, since everyone thinks I'm so visionary, everyone will be copying this piece of trash that I pulled from my buttocks. Prepare for all of your otherwise decent movies to be riddled with meaningless panel-shots! For I am Ang Lee! Mwahahahahahaahhaaaaaa!"