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Forums :: Authors and Artists :: Apocalypse Revisited

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Posts: 363
Member #99

Dec 18, 2006 5:29
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  Since no one is commenting, undoubtedly because they didnt read the story....
  What do people think? And does anyone have ideas for the story? I mean I's not that hard, think of something that involves you and your familar (maybe the familiar comes in later)..I mean TV hasnt killed your brains that much has it??
  This story was written on the spot with no planning (aside from the fact I saw Mints post something about inactivity then resolve to write a story that popped into existance)...
  don't be n00bs yall.
  EDIT: typo
Conker's Bad Fur Day
  Conker: Well, here I am! Conker the King... king of all the land! Who'd a thought that? But how did I come to this, you say? And who are those strange fellows that surround my throne? That you also say! Well. It's a long story. Come closer and I'll tell you. It all started... yesterday. And what a day that was! It's what I call... a bad fur day!
  [Edited by Blade on Dec 18, 2006 5:34]

Posts: 4058
Member #1

Dec 18, 2006 9:16
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  Yeah, the "no planning" was very obvious.
  You did what we call in the IAS biz a "High Time." You made a setting -- not a story. Typically, some sort of direction is given. I think there is some REWS literature someplace on exactly this sort of thing.
  Pretty much, whoever adds to it first has almost all of the responsibilities of someone who creates a brand-spankin'-new story. The only "almost" about it is the setting; you've taken care of that. A main character with a name and no description or, well, character is not considered a developtment.
  This actually makes it more difficult to add to than creating their own new story; they have to think of the entire plot (unless they want to be Tot) themselves with restrictions.
  I have thought of a possible addition, of course, since I can add to anything, but since I know that 1) you'll hate it and 2) there is still little chance any one else will add to it, I am holding off. Gobbs and I generally have a rule about not adding to a story until somebody else does. This confirms it as not being doomed.
  Just look at fellow new story Nexus; there was a ton goin' on there as far as plot-potentials go. New characters are easy to throw, some sort of system (good ol' elements!) has been defined. What does Apocalypse have? Mutants? Pfft, you didn't even give us an example of one!
  Just remember that you have no right to be pissed when I make Falken a cyborg with a diesel motor that he runs on "bone juice" instead of "bean juice" since it is cooler...

Posts: 1513
Member #2

Dec 19, 2006 11:06
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  Oh, no. It's been read. If there's one thing about the writing boards: Everyone reads. No one posts. Well, okay, not everyone, but the flow is still staggeringly separate.
  I'll try not to be redundant since the Double-M covered a lot of the bases, but I do not believe that all your base now belong to us.
  Not even getting into your piece, something sparks a Wavey Mouth and a Boggle Familiars? This is a BD story? I ... never got any indication from the story, its setting, or the OOC that monsters were even resident to the world. Now, futurist BD settings are nothing new to a REWS. To Hell (and maybe Phallanx Limit, I think) was not dark ages themed, either; however, this fact was pointed out. Now, it wasn't exactly picked up clearly, as I could have made it more obvious, but mentioning sorceror-generals, their beasts, the large pet of the protagonist, and, you know, a Tatzlwurm kinda was a nudge-nudge, wink-wink to the situation.
  Now, I don't know if you just assumed with the recent BD/BW cross promotion that things have to be adoptable related, but I didn't notice anything in your story yet to say, "Oh, by the by, that nuclear winter also mutated the wildlife into hideos, fierce beasts likened to those of lore."
  Something Ems likes to say, but he skipped over this is, is that people aren't psychic. If you want something instituted, it has to be said. You can't assume they know.
  Anyhoo, back on track to the off-the-off-comment spiel I just spontaneous had to fill in:
  One of the reasons I think others are not adding is because... they don't have any direction. Being the resident REWS specialist (having pretty much partaken in every story here and having started the most [failures Crying ]), let me give you the low-down on the lay of stories' first posts (not to be pandering, but illustrate a pattern):
  Arrow Rumbl-o-Rama: Contestant race to a destination.
  Arrow Aftermath: Agent Vince protects a tome from evil doers.
  Arrow The Search: Draco saves his stolen familiar from thieves.
  Arrow High Time: A soldiers waits for his first opponent in an arena.
  Arrow Orb of Ilusci: Danny gets involved with a magical orb.
  Arrow Nexus: Grey is tied to trouble related to his mysterious stone that joins worlds.
  Okay, so that last one (or two) stands out a bit from the formula, but you get the idea. In all the cases, there is some conclusion, some goal, to be worked towards. Even if it is not clearly defined (Nexus), a gyst is established. This plot can be built upon. It is not entirely up to someone else to just whip up on a whim. Now, some more samples:
  Arrow Do Tot Trust the Unknown: There's a girl outside at night. She has a name, and nothing else is given.
  Arrow Flames Lash Out...: There's a girl outside at night going to a tavern with a sword. Nothing else is given. Sound familiar?
  Arrow Apocalypse Revisited: A guy goes to a bar with a sword... but it's the future!!! Still, nothing else is given.
  Wow, I didn't even initially plan on that similarity to appear. But, erm, yeah. For both of those first stories, there was nothing to happen. Yeah, there's a girl, but what is she doing? Why is she there? There's nothing. She's just a person. Yes, the second person could post to give them a back story, personality, and mission, but... why wouldn't they just make their own story where that would be established all in the first post?
  Again, redundant, I know, but that should be clear cut. Now, I've had more stories tank than anyone, and mine actually had set up.
  Maybe someone will jump in, you never know.
  Really, you don't.
"Who dares to defy me?? I am Uluru the Invincible!"
  Uluru the Invincible, Heroes

Posts: 363
Member #99

Dec 21, 2006 4:32
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  Or maybe I definately know someone is......(do not count the fact that the story is locked for a poster)...I already knew....and...the familiar idea has been scrapped To Hel.
  meh, that story was wrote in half an hour at a very late time by a person who had little to no sleep (aka Moi) but enough excuses...
  So wait and see friends...oh word Gobbo..overkill
  I am not incomptetent, as some ENDers would like to assume...
  EDIT: Would it be so bad if someone else wrote the story, I mean it is a multiple author thing?
Blackness covers all I see and all I touch.
  No feeling of pain just sorrow.
  My hand loses grip of the sword I held.
  And I turn to become a true shadow.--Rikimaru's death song. Tenchu:WoH
  [Edited by Blade on Dec 21, 2006 5:01]
  [Edited by Blade on Dec 21, 2006 5:02]

Posts: 1513
Member #2

Dec 21, 2006 7:22
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  Yeah, I did overdose that poison a bit, but it really wasn't directed at you, per se. I learned long ago that when stuff need said, just say it for later reference in the future. We've been getting a good wave of babies as of late, so I thought, if any of them should happen to dance in the forums, that they get a dose of comparison for what to be all abouts.
  I mean, really, there are 22 stories, and 7 have one post, and a good few more have under 4.
"Bye bye, head!"
  -JBL, Commentary God

Posts: 4058
Member #1

Dec 21, 2006 11:11
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  Yeah, I told Gobbo he was goin' on a bit much, but he wouldn't listen to me.
  At any rate, sleep deprivation is never a good state for writing. Of course, it is better than drunkenness. (Isn't that right, High Time?) Could never really understand the states in which people create stories sometime. If they were adding to a story and had a lock that would expire, sure, writing in a less-than-favorable state might be necessary. But when are starting a story, one should have all the time in the world to wait off inebriation.
  You at least made a reasonable title in your story. I mean, it has already been relocked; if that isn't an edit lock, one more go and that mug is advertiseable/imageable! I could never do that with High Time! How the Hel am I supposed to flaunt something which shares all to similar a name with a cannibis-enthusiast mag?
  I also think Gobbs was going on too much on what you did wrong. I think we should commend what you did right:
  Arrow You didn't name it High Time Upside Down Smile
  Arrow You started with more than one character. Stories with less than two characters -- major or minor -- are doomed.
  Arrow You gave the main character a physical description. This seems like a given, but we have had a surprising lack of this basic a description.
  Arrow The main character does have a sword and cloak (gah!) but isn't a teenager. Way too much of that goin' round... It's relateable
  Arrow Although no plot itself was introduced in the first post, you did introduce enough peripheral elements to create a main plot -- that of the power struggle and gangs, for example.
  Also, tho' this may just be readin' in too much to the title alone, but "Apocalypse Revisted" means something is gonna have to happen again, most likely the Apocalypse Dot Mouth * stores up an ApocalypseRexploded *

Posts: 363
Member #99

Dec 21, 2006 17:14
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  Oh for sure, but the real question...can it be stopped?
The Sword and the Sickle
  The sword sang on the barren heath,
  The sickle on the fruitful field
  The sword he sang a song of death
  But could not make the sickle yield
  William Blake
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