"So just how old are you, sweet cakes?" the disgusting fiend hissed with a wild lick of his dark tongue.
"By the gods, what is your problem?" Rook was practically tearing his hair out with anger. "First of all, ew!" After calming down his stomach, continued. "Second, what are you doing just walking through the woods, popping out at random people?"
"Yes," agreed the lunatic, "but I could- YAH!" The fuzzy orange companion of freak began to gnaw his leg.
"Git 'em! Git 'em good," the towering Claw Wurm ordered, smashing down his master with a three pointed paw. The horned bunny pushed both aside with a spiraled horn, swallowing the thing they chased whole in a seemingly impossible feat. Rook and Articuno were left stammering at the sight.
"I swear," the sickle armed weaseled huffed, "you'd think 'Snaff would learn not to mess around with Dopplegangers... after twenty times..." She lowered her head and shamefully added, "When drunk."
"I know," snarled the great wyrm. "That one was the hardest to catch yet." The lumbering serpent turned its gaze at the siblings. "Ah! Ah! People!" he screamed, "And they're as ugly as we've been told!"
"If not worse," added the Kamaitachi, shielding her eyes with her blades. FlopHop, meanwhile, bounced on over to the now terrified Articuno, smelling her petrified hand.
"If you so much as touch her," Rook threatened through clenched teeth, "so help me, I swear I'll-" His words faded as the bunny merely began to affectionately rub the girl with her nose. "... Oh."
"Curses, Flop," whined Schrecken, "we dun have time for this! There's still a few more left." He paused to rub his belly. "An' I'm full."
"'Tis worse than you think," direly warned Kaze Musha. "I forgot to lock the liquor cabinet."
"Dear Ghob, there's no time to waste!" With a flick of his tail, the Tatzelwurm dove into the earth, vanishing as quickly as it had come. Kaze Musha did not even attempt to fix the situation. The giant hybrid could reach the subterranean kingdom they knew as home much faster than she could, despite her speed over land.
Turning a twitching eye to the two humans, she snapped, "What are you lookin' at?"
"Um... nothing," Rook slowly responded. "We're just-"
"We're gonna save the world," his sister gleefully interjected, causing Rook to smack his own face at his sister's willingness to divulge facts.
"Save the world," the weasel laughed in its hyper voice. "That went out with the Age of Heroes. I'll stick to chasing down my master's horribly twisted abominable clones, thank you."
"Ooh, so that's what that was," Rook came into realization. "So that's why it was so messed up in the head."
"... Yeah," agreed Kaze, thankful that her lack of pupils did not reveal her eyes sliding to the side. "So you suckers are trying to get across the ocean, 'twould seem?"
"Yes," Articuno answered. "We need to get to the Isles."
"Well, I think I remember their being a port not too much further down this path." The weasel scratched her head with a wicked blade. "At least I think. Let me check." In a loud boom, only swirling dust was in place of where the Kamaitachi had been. Before it could even settle, the weasel had returned, skidding to a halt, dragging her blades in the ground. "Yeah, should be but a days travel, methinks. At least, for you poor hairlesses it will be. You Northerners are pretty handy at ship building. Someone should be able to get you there, 'specially with that thing at your side." The weasel pointed to Gungnir, which anyone could tell was authentic from its radiating presence. "I'm surprised you need a foreigner to tell you this stuff."
"I thought saving the world wasn't you business?" Rook smugly asked. The rodent shrugged.
"It's not," she slyly replied. "I leave that for suckers like you. C'mon, Floppy, time to go- wait a minute. You didn't eat that herd of cattle we passed up on the way here, did you?" The rabbit gave an innocent look of its large eyes while shaking its head but coughed up a bull's horn. "Oh, there is no way I'm going to lug around all that weight back to Ghob. You can just huff it there." With a quivering lip, the Al'Mi-raj buried her face in Articuno's leg, wiping way her tears. "What? Fine, I don't care. I have some Dopplegangers to cleave." A mighty gale tore across the landscape, leaving only the two humans and the bunny.
OOC[Kinda odd that you added my character. I was going to try to set a whole standard of "not throwing in yourself for no real reason" deal, but oh well.]
... man, this turned out longer than expected... so much for short posting.
Idiot Proofing: I'm making the assumption that none of these characters have met before. So, like, dun no one go and say, "Rook's good pal from the Search" or nothing.