"Hey," thought aloud the mage, since no one else was around to hear him. "I wonder if that simple act like throwing that rock could have cataclysmic yet unseen ramifications that could mean the doom of us all?... nah!"
"Oh no!" a horrified goblin exclaimed at the terrors he perceived. "The Lands of Doom are not doomy at all! What a rip!"
"What are you complaining about?" said the D, who was not so much teaming up with the imp as happening to travel in the same direction. "You act as though the lack of doom is something cataclysmic."
"Well, you know," muttered the Ghobling, slumping his shoulders and diverting his gaze from the other green guy, "I kinda got my hopes up. Now how will I ever test out my Doom Umbrella," at which time he promptly produced a paper plate with a broken stick taped to the center area that showed signs of a failing attempt to be punctured. A small, sticky note had scrawled on it in crayon -- albeit in a fancy, medieval handwriting -- the name of the invention. Mispelled, of course, but fancy.
"I do not believe that will protect you from doom, Bim'," informed the buckswashler. "In fact, I do not even know if you would be safe if I threw this peanut I just found at you."
"Hey, shutup!" snapped the kobold, shiftily casting his gaze about thisaway "Doom doesn't know what doom can or cannot.... doom. I bet if it reads this is a 'Dumumberella', it'll just back off without even trying!"
"That is by far the stupidest thing you have thought of in the last ten minutes!" he exclaimed. "Sorry, Eat-First-Cook-Later Internal Oven, but you've been usurped!"
"I'ma suppository!" the odd, walking contraption gleefully stated.
"I'll take your word for it!" dismissed the knightly one. "Besides," he returned his attention to Gobbo, "who would be incompetent enough to fall for something so obviously fake?"
"Well, square donuts are sorta like doom," the illusionist stated, now well within the heart of a very bakery-smelling land. "The edges do keep poking out my eyes when I try to eat them." His eyes widened as an expression came over him that could not have been clearer if an exclaimation point jumped from his head, but one did anyway, and it was thusly carried off by a bird to build its nest. "Oh, waitaminute, food goes in here!" he stated, pointing to his mouth. "Mother was right when she told me to carry around that diagram," he chuckled loudly.
He then quickly checked his solitary surroundings. "Sometimes, it is better that I am alone."
"Why won't you leave me alone?" cried Eagle. "This battle won't go anywhere if you never take action." The vagrant lifted a rocky eye to him. Most of his new skin had already shed away from the endless attacks, but his fight was still far from over.
"Then you shall meet your doom!" he boomed, relinquishing his guarded stance and coming down with all his might onto the leaf before him. "You thought you could escape from your brothers' fate, but you were wrong!"
"Okay, all of the sapling is dead," assured the non-descript adventurer frustratedly. "Your aardvark sausages or lemming pie or whatever it is you were babbling about being stolen is safe now. Can you just get back to trying to kill me or something?"
"Well," began the blue, "since you asked so nicely." With an amphibian leap high into the sky, he drove his weapon well behind him, firmly grasped and ready to impale some unfortunate someone. The remaining fragments of stone melted off in a green aura and were absorbed into his skin. He spun about mid-apex, pulsating with a palpable rage. With a wild dervish yell, he looked down to his target.
"Oh snap, this is gonna suck."
"I said that it is going to suck us into the depths of a netherland of some kind," re-explained Bimble. "It is a big plug in the middle of the Lands of Fate. It can lead no where I would want to go."
"Awwww," whined Vinny, dropping the chain to which it was attached. "You're no fun."
"But I'm still alive," said the for-some-reason-smart-this-time goblin. "That is more than you could say if I were not here to protect you from doing stupid things like unleashing the wrath of some hellbent underregion."
"Who won't what how now?" questioned D, again ahold of the chain, but this time no longer attached to a plug sealing away the evil drain.
"O! blackest abyss!" lamented Writer, peering through the hole of an especially large donut. It orignally began as a bet with himself that his head would fit, but he had then discovered its quite curious contents. "How strange that this square donut leads to a bottomless pit! Well, I mean, it looks bottomless, at least. At any rate, it would be a prime place to safely dispose of this bomb I have been carrying for quite some time," he told to no one in particular, casing down the DVD of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.
"Oh crap!" screamed the green fiend. "You've unlocked the gate to an evil world that was for some reason stopped-up like a bath tub, but strangely, we survived!" He surveyed the small landmass to which both clung, floating on a very tall, very narrow stalagmite in an empty mess that was once land.
"How was I to know that the evils of the netherworld would try to vanquish everything in ours?" reasoned the D. "They said they had candy!"
"Well, do not you worry," said the gobliny guy. "By my calculations, this spire will not collapse unless something really catastrophic happens someplace deep in the earth, and what are the chances of that?"
"Wowzers!" cornily said the illusionist. "Look how deep into the earth this bottomless pit goes!" Little did he know that it was in fact not bottomless, but very well bottomed. Bottomed in such a way that the wretchly cast materials were almost arriving....
"And I can get a really good view hanging in here by my feet!" again exclaimed the illusionist. "I hope nothing of catastrophic, groundshaking proportions occurs here that would cause me to fall and other unnamed, farreaching consequences."
And explosion that ripped through the very foundations of the earth ignited once the bombest of all bombs dropped. Its consequences were many and farreaching.
"Did you feel that?" asked Vinny.
"Of course I did!" retorted Gobbo. "It only knocked our little rock formation slanted by a large degree."
"But... it didn't collapse into the deathly abyss below."
"My calculations must have been off," informed he, somehow freeing his hands to carve some calculations into the rockface. "I guess it will take two such catastrophes, but what are the chances of that?"
"The chances that there were for the first one to take place?"
".... shut up. I am sure somone somewhere was effected."
"Wowzers twice!" said Writer. "I cannot believe that huge explosion did not knock me into the bowels of the earth! How lucky am I? Now how am I supposed to get myself out of his hole?
"Oh well, at least no other catastrophe shall occur to ruin us all... or me, as far as I know."
Faster than sight, the vagrant streaked down to the ground, driving his spear deep. Eagle stood a distance away, blank faced, at the wanderer with his weapon piercing the ground.
"You.... missed?" he questioned. "I mean, I know I should come to expect this sort of thing from you, but that was an awful lot of set-up for something so utterly lam-"
"EVERYBODY DIE!" Tearing his spear from the ground, the vagrant unleashed the infamous Land Smite on LieutenantEagle and most parts of the world. Shockwaves thundered throughout all parts of the known world. Boulders launched forward at Eagle, hurrying him away in a hail of stones.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" screamed the Goblin. "I was wrong again! What will it take to knock over this stupid spire!" Before he could complete his words, subspace ripples from a planet destroyed far, far away have reached earth through some sort of anomaly. "Thank you!" the annoyed fiend said as he plummeted to his doom.
And so all our heroes tumbled down pits of their own making to the center of the earth -- the crunchy, creamy, nougat-filled center.
"Ouch! It feels like I fell on somebodies head."
"Who said that? Is there anyone there?"
"What's that smell? Is there anyone there?"
"Whose horn is jabbing me?... wait, that's mine. When did I get a horn?"
"Wait, I can just make some light," said the illusionist, finally finding a use for his powers. He lit a faerie fire to encompass him and the being next to him. "Ah!"
"Ah!... wait, why are you screaming?" asked the Ghob.
"I just forgot what you looked like," Vinny D informed, "and wanted it to stay that way. Have you seen who else is here?"
"Time to find out who else is here," informed the frog, clicking a button on the side of his head to activate his high-beam eyes. Immediately, an unconscious and boulder-crushed Eagle came into view. Behind him stood a snarling, drooling cave worm. "Eye-lights.... off!"
"What in earth is that thing?" cried Vinny, as the source of their light drew nearer. The strange, glowing, nine-eye mole tunneled ever closer with its five razor sets of razor-claws wielding shaving razors.
"Why does a blind mole have nine eyes and emit light?"
"What did I get stuck with?" asked Writer, again all alone.
"I'ma suppository." The mage hung his head in shame, which promptly had an exclaimation point dropped onto it.
"Huh? Where did this come from?"