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Board Writing :: RoR: Idiotic Iteration :: Page 7

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Posted by
Jun 13, 2007

"Man, this is all getting to be too much," complained Rex. "I need some soft serve."

"From where exactly?" wondered the nerd, back in focus.

"That machine," the frog king pointed out. "It's been following us."

"Since page two?" Ignoring the flaw to common sense, the blue clad vagrant went to the creamy treat dispenser to select a flavor. Passing over the boring vanilla and chocolate, he came upon their amalgam.

"Mmm, twist is god," drooled the amphibi-man. The other nodded in contemplation.

"It is god," the student agreed. "God from out the machine?!" His realization came too late. With dramatic slowness, he sluggishly ran to the ice milk injector to stop the process, but it was too late. The lever crashed down with deafening volume against a silent backdrop as an almighty force was released from within.


"Oh, it really was just ice cream," he announced in crushed hope.

"Well, yeah," the cyan skinned Rumbler shrugged. "What were you expecting?"

"I don't know," the bespeckled one meekly admitted. "Some sorta big, cheap, cop-out to allow this extended tale to finally be laid to rest."

"Why would we need that? We're already at the Deli Dale. So is everyone else, and there's the Merry Cherry Ferry, which they're boarding."

"Really? Huh." Syrian was flabbergasted. "When did all that come about?"

"When you spent forever doing that slow motion run over here," informed the frog man. "What was with that?"

"Drama, suspense," Hadoleo mustered excuses, "stupidity."

"Good enough for me," the toad tyrant passed off. Chomping down on the remainder of his cone, he shoved down his opponent as he galloped off to gain lead on at least one foe, laughing maniacally until his terrible brain freeze left him writhing on the ground. All were there for the final sprint to the end: Rumblers, Lolirs, and some stupid side characters that were better off forgott-


The nog doth flowed that night, and many thoughts perished in the tide. Few could recalleth the events from that tremendous moment, and what scraps wert pieced heldeth questionable truth. From the lies and boasts, no token served as proof of whom left the Deli Dale a victor of the Rumblo, so only word served to lay claim. Beholdeth now the tales of the End of Ends...

Story Splinter: The plot diverges at this point. You can continue down the current path or read one of the alternate storylines.
Jun 13, 2007: 1 Post
Posted by
Jun 13, 2007

D is for inDecision.

"The Purple of Clam is within my grasp," snarled the grizzled brute, paddling the Merry Cherry Ferry towards the goal faster with his own broad hands. The giant had beat off his competition with ease due to his size advantage, neither to be taken in the sense of Kodiro's liking. The Sharp Cheddar Legendary could be tasted on his aged tongue, its bold flavor embedded into his beard. The years lost and misspent times of agony seemed washed away by the glorious scent. With a wild swing of the trunks he called arms, the stowaways on the vessel were batted off, toppling into the fjord like heads from guillotine. Impatient for a longer wait, the green sentinel burst forth with a mighty bound, shattering the flimsy roofing and floor alike of the mythical ship like graham cracker, which it was. The mystical ancients had poor choices for building materials back then. The boat sank beneath the enchanted water way, regaled for its ability to make reduced fat food goods taste as though they were fat free food stuffs, as the thick boots of Vincent thundered upon the isolated isle within the blue. Shrouding mists parted to reveal the divine dairy, glowing miraculously as if under the beaming of a 100 watt bulb, but, lo, the lamp only had wattage of 65! Truly supernatural!

"At last, the Monkey Blenders will no longer be set on double sided," uttered the giant, for some reason. Why hasn't he caught on to the situation yet? I mean, the cheese is right in front of him! Anyway, a meaty mitt stretched out to receive the splendor of the fruity ferry. His fingers were so close to the goal, but then they stopped. If they had only fallen downward, they would have taken ownership of the dream product, but they recoiled. His muscled arms moved to his flanks, still. "I swore to capture the Irish Kiwi of the Mayans," stated the worn Rumbler, "and I shall." Despite his claims, he took no action. "I will do this, so I have spoken." The Legendairy sat, still undevoured. It itself was growing concerned of the mega man, and it lacked sentient thought. That worry would soon be over for-

"Achem!" In a flash, the top of the pedestal was covered with the mandibles of the sickly fiend. Sliding his head off from the top, his pointed teeth scraping lines into the stone fixture, no trace of the cheddar was left behind. "Mmm, now dat's sharp," declared Bimblesnaff. "Da most sharp cheddah I've evah tasted. An' not extra sharp, eithah. Just sharp sharp. Da truest it could be."

"I," spoke the defeated man, lifting a defiant finger to the sky, "shall claim the Illuminated Slippers of Headgear, for I-" Keeling over, Bogg tore his crooked blade from out the victim's torso, wiping off the blood on its own funeral garb.

"If you already had the cheese," questioned Rex, popping up from no where as well, "did you really have to stab him?"

"He desahved it," rationed the lunatic coldly, "an' worse."


* * This story contains splintered plotines. You may want to look over alternate possibilities to what you just read. * *

**** This story is still being written. You, too, can contribute to it by writing the next installment. ****

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