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Posted by
MintMan
on
Nov 25, 2009


Secret panels lining the makeshift ship's hull gave way. Barrel after barrel of Blatzies burst out. A thunderous boom caused ripples as they all sounded simultaneously, each trained on some target high in the sky. It was smoke on the water, but a fiery display filled the sky.

"That is the signal!" alerted Gabon. "Now, we attack!"

"Wait, that is what the button was for?" questioned the curious cupcake.

"Um, yeah," stated the skeletal sailor. "How else would I get your attention? And now we can begin the attack! After this little aside, of course." Even the enemy agreed with nodding noggins -- or whole body-head fusions for those who lacked either.

"you told me that we couldn't carry any provisions because of those cannons," drolled out the dopey fish.

"I don't understand what the big deal is. It isn't like we're starving yet," huffed the scurvy skull-wearer. "Besides, we're in the ocean! There are plenty of fish to eat!" At long last, it is revealed how the team was able to get Kine to do whatever they wanted.

"Yarrr, we instead coulda just blasted 'em horny-hatted dogs to Davey Jone's kennel, as that's the place where dogses goes," Mumbies just sorta said to say things. "Yarrrr," once more for good measure.

"The important thing is that I got all of your attention," claimed cranial Captain Gabon. "Hey, Mika, stop doing that!"

"Fires! Yay!" the distracted tangerine further distracted the rest with her adorable fascination of destruction. Well, at least she wasn't the cause of it this time, right?

"Geez, with the way you're all acting, you'd think something bad happened from my Super Signal Plan of Secretness and Also Some Awesomeness™."

"Like bloving up Kracko," Yuki pointed out the immolated eye in the sky.

"Help me!"

"Pretty colors!" cheerily chirped Mikarin, which of course did little to help the cremated cloud. "Yay!"

"Well, Kracko is barely even part of the story," brushed off the bony buccaneer. "Nothing else bad happened, tho'."

"You mean other than all the fire that fell straight back down to our ship?" Blopper again killed all joy. "And Kracko's vengeful corpse?"

"'Not part of the story' this!" kamikaze Kracko let out as he crashed through the what little of a hull remained atop Kine.

"What did you expect from shooting fireworks in the air? Hasn't anyone ever explained to you how gravity works?"

"Yeah, but that was an hour ago," attempted to rationalize the very lost captain. "Professor Sockington, I told you to give me fifteen minutes refreshers!"

"Okay, that isn't even a sock puppet; that is just a sock," plainly stated Mikarin, so that gives you an idea of just how sad the situation is.

"Forsooth, I durst not believe thou art actually a threat to our Thing Chief," Nordic ninja Waiyu broke the silence, demonstrating his knowledge that "thing" is legitimate Norse term, "nor that we sat here patiently for thou, either. We seem to doth that a lot. Probably the only reason why thou art a threat." And it was upon making this realization that the raider made another important one; he was now aboard the sinking, burning chunk of hull the heroes called a ship. "By Odin's beard's beard! What sorcery is this?"

"The sorcery of Gabon's Super Signal Plan of Secretness and Also Some Awesomeness™, biznatches!" the femur fighter's fading voice called out as the former viking vessel rowed into the horizon instead of around it. The resulting crash broke off the dragon figurehead's head. "Well, that made things much less dramatic."

"Are you honestly gonna try passing this off as your plan all along?" Jumping Dan denied. "How was destroying Kracko and our own makeshift ship a plan of any sort? That just doesn't make any sense!"

"Um... the last ten posts?" impeccably answered Gabon.

"Well, as long as we are in this mode, I'm going to take this setting sun with us," the superhero star stated as he picked the half-circle out of the water. "Ever since I got outta Kine, I've been gimmickless, and if there is one thing carrying around half of the sun somehow says, it's gimmick~!" What the half sun actually said was -

"Help me!" the bisected Mr. Bright bewailed.

"Wow, really?" exclaimed the non-exoskeletoned explorer. "There is still more to this post, even after that? You can just tell the writing is gettin' lazy."

"Sure is," he said.

"Anyway, according to this treasure map," the good captain Gabon continued, producing said map from no where -- both physically and in terms of storyline -- "Meta Mirror Dark Marxer², Sr., is located on the Candy Islands of Death." He pondered a moment. "Why is the Big Bad's location marked on a treasure map?"

"Because we be pirates, matey," Mumbies mumbled, "or maybe they be pirates. Arr, somebody be pirates, at any rate, and pirates need maps -- maps and wenches!" The crew was quick to race to claim "Not it," except for -

"not i-, um, it was probably them who were pirates," Kine didn't really remember but desperately hoped.


As the poorly bound planks sank and traded a fiery end for a watery grave, the not-ninja did what he always did and waited for the story focus to return to him before acting in any capacity. All the anchors and cannons and lack of support upon a sunfish caused the heroes' former and half-finished, entirely destroyed ship to take on water just as fast as it would have even if it had not been for the charred, sooty scars that only perfect planning could produce.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Axe Knight, who fit the viking theme a little too well to be there.

"All art not lost," the warrior band's leader told the third skeletal character yet to appear in this story. "Only our ship and all but four of our party." Waiyu then cast a wayward eye to see the still, no-longer bubbling surface of the sea. "Three.

"We dost have what art most important, however," the aquatic assassin announced to the few living ears as he produced a sinister cookie made much less sinister by virtue of being a cookie. "We have a way to advance the plot!"

"I can't believe it!" the skull was shocked. "This thing has a plot?






**** This story is still being written. You, too, can contribute to it by writing the next installment. ****


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