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Board Writing :: BD: Ending the World :: Page 2

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Posted by
Jan 30, 2009

Edited on
Jan 31, 2009

"A-whaaaaaaaa?!" a shocked Reri exasperated upon entering the pub. "By the many eyes of the Japanese gods, whoever those are, whatever has transpired in this saké parlaying pub?" The traveller threw his forearm over his round, red eyes and his head back, unable to behold the horrors surrounding him.

"Screw yew, ya git," some strange green creature insulted, "and maybe a ewe, too, while yer at it, ya perv."

"That would be considered perverse under normally conditions," the faker fought back, "but since all my friends have the same unhealthy obsessions, I'm normal and it is you who are strange for not dressing up like an animal and- wait, no!"

"Uh, boss," began Bushido, "you don't own any ryu costumes, do you?"

"Of course not, my most faithful familiar," Satu stated. "All female dragons have button eyes." And his non-buttons batted back and forth to see whether any bought his bluff. Most patrons of this enormous Tavern just ignored the newcomer to the scene and continued what they were already doing: nothing. For most, that was easily done as they didn't even exist.

"It's disgusting!" blurted out the blue clad guy, one of the few in the bar and paying attention. "We came back to life for this?... again? Didn't we already die in this story?" A flippered finger scratched his scaly chin. "It is almost as though someone enjoys to see us suffer eternally, but that can't be true since no one enjoys seeing us at all!"

"You got that right," the Fen King agreed.

Zig looked about the quiet, corpse-laden establishment from atop the bar. "Who were you talking to?"

"I... don't know."

Back across the borders of country and reality, apparently, the hero-no-one-wanted-but-himself Reri Satu interrogated the two suspects' decapitated heads.

"Tell me where this threat to the world is!" the samurai insisted, screaming straight into a leaking ear. "I know you can talk! I just saw you doing it a few minutes ago!"

"You awen't gonna gets any infowmation like that," squeaked the bloody blob.

"Unscrupulous weevil!" accused the wannabe, aiming his already wet weapon at the tiny thing. "Whatever could make you make these words make noise, please? Is it because their larynxes were severed?"

"Stwangely, no," the Kekkai concluded. "They was we-enactin' scenes fwom theih favowite movies just a minute ago."

"We haven't be invented yet," both of the heads took turns repeating.

"They just awen't talkin' to you 'cause you huwt theiw feelin's."

"I was unaware feelings could be reached by stabbing the brains," the unasian one was amazed. "They should feel glad that my unstoppable strength only hurt their feelings instead of killing them in a single blow. And the only reason they can feel glad is because I did not kill their feelings. You may thank me now, heathens."

"No no no," the horrid homonculus protested, shaking its entire mass from side to round side. "Youw wowds huwt them."

"Yes, they are just as ultimately powerful as my katana. I once have slain three giants at the same time with them." His eyes narrowed behind a raised, clenched fist. "I spilled their entrails with my adjectives. And those are neither things nor actions."

"Youw was mean to them!"

"Confirmative, Chop Suey. For your given aides, you will be my familiar fed this month." His attentions returned to the heads, who, yes, were still reciting their favorite film quotes. Er, quote. "Disgusting westerners, receive my honorable apologies. If insulted, know now that you have been reduced by a most percent, so your shame is now that much smaller now.

"You may thank me now, heathens."

"Ohkay," the twin craniums contently conceded, "I guess you're right about us, anyway. We are pathetic losers for failing with real people instead of succeeding with imaginary animal women." A bloody, blue brow was raised at their murderer. "Women... right?"

"Just tell him about that evil dude," rushed in the weasel. "You really don't want him to an-"


"-swer that quest- blutty Hel!" the interrupted Kamaitachi cursed. "That somehow makes things more disturbing. Gah! I feel like I should be arrested just for knowing and not killing you!"

"Well, we'll help regardless," informed the decapitated duo. "After all, that guy did kill us... first. Avenge our murder, our murderer!"

"What else are murderers for?" rhetorically replied Reri Satu. "Well, other than murdering?"

"Stop saying 'murder'!" bade the bladed beast

**** This story is still being written. You, too, can contribute to it by writing the next installment. ****

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